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Heatherpaw
Summary Heatherpaw is a WindClan apprentice and is played by Caelinus. She has a ginger coat with some white markings and soft green eyes, as well as a tendency to protect her left side due to a leg broken during the blizzard. Never quite positive who she is, she experiments by sorting herself into different cliques; she has an ENFP personality, would be in Hufflepuff, and loves those who are close to her very dearly. Reason for Name Heather - for her ginger coat. -kit - traditional suffix. -paw - traditional suffix. ''-song - for her talkative nature and sweet voice.'' Personality Heatherpaw isn't exactly the type to know precisely who she is as soon as she is born; rather, ever since her birth, she's been trying to figure that out. Her sisters each have unique personalities and she herself has been known to experiment with acting like each one of them to figure out how she herself is meant to act. But when she isn't busy pretending to be someone else, there is someone deep down that she is and can succeed as; the only problem is that she is wary and afraid of herself, and she is terrified of finding out exactly who that is. However, despite her struggles with her internal side on figuring out her purpose and the way she is supposed to act, she generally sticks with one main point that she isn't willing to stray from: she has always been soft at heart, and has always been extremely loving, and regardless of her confusion as to where her heart lies that is something that has always been true. More recently she has been flirtatious and similar to the preps in an average high school, but she is slowly trying to wean away from that because she doesn't know if that is what she is truly meant to be. She focuses on the world around her and how it affects her intuitively, learning from things that way and how they correspond with what she believes in. Heatherpaw also takes things in internally and deals with them based on how she feels about them, and how they fit in with her value system; overall, the way she sees things is determined by the way that she feels about them, and she will act accordingly. This can be difficult for her at times because sometimes she is trying to mold herself to believe things the way others do, rather than the way she does deep down; for example, if she's trying to figure out if she's supposed to be the preppy type, she'll look at things the way that she believes preps might look at them as opposed to how she actually feels about them. Even in doing this, her views are moderately convoluted, because she doesn't necessarily actually know what the beliefs of the preps (or whichever stereotype she is trying to fit in with) are; she just replaces them with what she thinks they are based on how they act, and as such, struggles because it isn't always accurate. However, Heatherpaw lives in a world of possibilities, not only with who she can pretend to be but also because of how passionate and excited she can get about certain things. Even though she struggles with learning, as the entire process of training seems a bit boring to her, if she really applied herself and forgot about figuring out who she was during training sessions she would have a good time. She is quite enthusiastic and this can wear off on others, her hyperactive energy and endless rambling making others feel at home and like they can talk to her about whatever it is their hearts desire while simultaneously filling them with a similar energy. Capable of motivating and inspiring others, she just has to figure out how to do this for herself when she is acting the way that she rightfully should; but, even when she is pretending to be someone she isn't, she can still frequently give others the desire to live. Heatherpaw is capable of talking her way into or out of things, as can be seen in some of the more interesting aspects of her life; for example, an offhanded comment to her mentor turned into a full (albeit somewhat awkward) relationship with another warrior in the Clan, and though she is very happy about it, it's still a kind of interesting feat to have seen happen. As long as she doesn't get sucked into her negative thoughts about who she is, and her lost feelings and utter confusion don't take over her and confound her, she absolutely loves the experience of living, and loves waking up each morning -- to rain or clear skies, it doesn't matter, it's all part of the life experience and she loves that with a fierce passion. She wants to live life to its fullest, experiencing anything and everything that she can manage to (even if it ends up terribly awkward and she's ashamed of it for the rest of her life, because at least she got the joy of experiencing that awkward thing, if only for a moment). Life is a special gift to her, but can also be the bane of her existence; because she knows she was not a wanted child, she knows that she should take life as a blessing, but she knows she wasn't a wanted child and that brings all sorts of negative things with it. Despite that, she knows that she is here and wants to make the most out of living, taking life to the fullest and letting go of the reins so it can carry her where it will. If she sets her mind to it, Heatherpaw can be good at anything that she truly cares about and feels determined to do well; she succeeds at anything that really interests her, and she likes to focus on them and put a lot of work into them until it turns out extremely well. She is a fan of doing projects and can bounce from thing to thing, such as mastering a certain method of hunting and then switching to learning how to properly do a certain fighting technique. Everything that she does is filled with a warmth, a passion, a fire inside of her that will not die; she puts her heart and soul into the things she cares about, and though it may seem to others that she has no idea what she is doing, she tends to have a very strong sense of values that can consistently guide her throughout her life: everything she does must fall in line with these values, regardless of what they are (though generally the one she truly dedicates herself to are the ones that actually belong to her instead of belonging to a group that she is attempting to fit in with at a given time). Despite the fact that she doesn't exactly know who she truly is, she still tries to please that internal part of herself, and will only do things that that part of her really believes is right -- unless, unfortunately, she is pressured, in which case she will doubt herself and wonder what to do with herself. Heatherpaw sees the meaning in everything, but frequently argues with herself about exactly what that meaning is. She is on a continuous journey to try to figure out who she is and what she is doing with her life, adapting her values to help herself find her own inner peace as she gradually realises that this is who she is and where she belongs, and that it's okay for her to be this way. Always aware of the fact that she has a very loose grip on herself (as in, who she is deep down) as it is, she is terrified of losing that and will protect the parts of her that she knows to truly be her with a fierce determination. She does not want to lose touch with herself. Emotional excitement is important in her life, and she is very intense with what she does though she is trying to tone it down to some extent because she does not want to put those she cares about through any type of turmoil; Heatherpaw has been known to enjoy the company of other toms, but is trying to limit it to just one for the rest of her life, as she herself is somewhat tired of that lifestyle. Even so, she does enjoy gossiping about her Clanmates, because she finds it interesting to see how they react to each other and all the fascinating bits of information their lives share. She isn't the greatest at always following through on the things she does; though she does like to complete individual tasks, perfecting this or that, if something else takes her interest she is prone to leaving the first activity in the dust and rushing off to do whatever else it was that captured her attention. This can be somewhat problematic for her as if she has something else on her mind but isn't immediately able to accomplish that task because she's preoccupied, whatever she's supposed to be focused on will suffer as a result and she may be chastised for it. Heatherpaw also needs time alone sometimes so she can get herself back on track and make sure she is following what she really believes in, though this can be somewhat dangerous for her as occasionally she'll begin to question everything she believes in -- after all, she doesn't entirely know who she is, so she can't exactly argue what is and isn't right for her when she doesn't even know where to begin. She still tries to move herself in the direction that she feels she is meant to go in, and if she screws up, she'll just have to pull herself aside to refocus and recentre herself on the path that she believes she is meant to be following. As long as she remains on the proper route (and, of course, figures out exactly what that route is so she can stick to it) she'll easily be successful in anything she really tries to do; however, she might still end up abandoning things in favour of new possibilities, and may never achieve what she is capable of. Heatherpaw legitimately cares about others, and has very strong social skills. She is capable with interacting with just about any one of her Clanmates without having issues, communicating to them what she does and doesn't want while also frequently gossiping about the interactions that her Clanmates have. She is genuinely warm and interested in others, and she takes all of her relationships pretty seriously (save for the brief flings with others, which she prefers to just pretend never even happened). However, she also places a lot of weight on what others think of her, and feels a need to be desired and liked; this is part of the reason that she is so clueless about who she is, because she is constantly trying to conform to the beliefs of others to make herself as likeable as she possibly can be. Sometimes she can overdo it a bit in order to seek out acceptance, though this is a bit more rare; once she has figured out to balance her need to please others and her need to be herself, she will be most at home while also still retaining the ability to bring out the best in others and be well-liked. Intuitively understanding her Clanmates after a brief period, she can use this as well as her flexibility to relate to them on a more personal level for that cat, and can somewhat morph herself to be more similar to the other cats both to make herself as appealing as possible while also attempting to make the other cat be as comfortable as possible. She lives in a world full of excitement and possibilities, opportunities at every turn and a trace of ambition leading her to want to pursue each and every single one of these. Everyday life can be a bit trivial and simple to her, the mundane experiences becoming boring over the course of a short period of time. She constantly wants to have something new happening, which is one reason why she tends to slip from group to group, finding new, worthwhile events that she can partake in before moving on. Heatherpaw doesn't particularly care for the simple (though sometimes detailed) maintenance tasks of life, and tends to ignore these and almost pretend they don't even exist in hopes that she will not end up forced to do something that may leave her irritated and frustrated because of its simplicity. It isn't enjoyable for her when she does end up stuck with them, and it is a challenging part of her life for both her and the Clan; sometimes she can seem lazy because she avoids chore-like activities, when it is really just due to her natural aversion to them. Heatherpaw sometimes makes critical errors in her judgement, be this because she is doubting herself or for other reasons; her thoughts are frequently fighting each other, arguing with each other, and sometimes she will choose to listen to the wrong side. Though she is pretty good at perceiving the truth of a Clanamte or a situation, sometimes she will jump to the wrong conclusions after giving the perception certain judgements, and this could end very poorly for her. Because of this she has learned to keep her mouth shut in the more critical situations, though this can be detrimental because sometimes the normally chatty she-cat can be absolutely silent, but this at least prevents her from saying or doing something that would be against her better judgement. She also has difficulty following through with things, focusing on the possibilities and leaving behind the boring facts of the present; however, because of her strong sense of value, she stays dedicated to the things she feels truly matter -- for example, her relationships, if she is committed to them. Heatherpaw loves to have some excitement in her life, and prefers to be around those who feel the same way. She is basically very happy, despite her difficult moments when she is confused about who she is or is looking too deeply into things that she should just let rest on the surface. This happiness may decrease if she is forced to stick to a strict schedule or a mundane task, without living with excitement, and she works best in situations where she has a high amount of flexibility and can work with her Clanmates as well as her ideas in a dynamic, fresh way. She can be extremely productive and prefers to do so without supervision, and as long as she retains her excitement and optimism for the task, she will be able to stick to it without a problem. Enthusiastic about life in general, this can radiate off of Heatherpaw and help make others happy about existing, too. Constantly alert and sensitive, both to changes in her environment and in herself, she is usually fairly tense physically. She craves independence and hates having others control her or label her (though she isn't the best at figuring out what that is, and will mingle with groups but dislike it once others start to assume that that's what she is without entirely knowing why she dislikes it). Heatherpaw needs to maintain control over herself, and not others; her desire for independence reaches out to others as well as herself. Heatherpaw can be quite charming and flirtatious, easily sweeping in anyone she takes an interest in -- which, at the moment, is a very fine selection. She can also be fairly ingenious and a bit of a risk-taker, preferring a life of new excitement rather than old experiences. Sensitive, she is prone to noticing how others feel and respond to things and not only internalising that but also focusing on how she can help them do so in a more positive way. She is capable of strongly influencing others, typically in an enthusiastic and upbeat way rather than one that would harm them, and has gifts that she is working to discover that will help her. Very happy to work with others, she thrives in social situations as long as she is able to get some time to herself and unwind a bit as well. She aches for life, for living, for experiencing the world, and wants to do so at its very fullest extent; she loves the idea of new things, and she is very quick to rush into them headlong while also abandoning the task that is actively at hand. Heatherpaw wants to find her heart's deepest desire and pursue it, fulfilling it, fulfilling herself and her innermost dreams; she loves the prospect of achieving something, though exactly what it is she may never know, and she wants to live the adventure that is life without being hindered by anything that may come. She is a free spirit, loving to roam the world in both body and mind, acting as the life of the party but preferring her connections with others rather than sheer excitement and bewilderment. Though she absolutely adores trying new things, her friends and family come first, her interactions with them always taken into consideration before doing something that could arguably be a mistake. She is very charming, energetic, independent, and compassionate, and her presence can be felt and known wherever she goes; others typically welcome her with open arms, knowing that she can bring happiness with every smirk. Reading between the lines through both her curiosity and her energy, Heatherpaw is capable of seeing life as a massive puzzle with a lot of connections; this puzzle is made of emotion, primarily, but she is constantly searching for the deeper meaning in everything and occasionally argues with herself over what that meaning may be and whether or not it's actually there or if something is just coincidental or on the surface of believing. She wants her creativity and freedom to be allowed more than she wants to have a structured and secure life, and when her imagination is sparked she can bring in an art to the world that is hard to see otherwise. Her mind places the world in a palette of colours and she is the artist, able to wind herself into things in ways that normally could not be found, and her energy brings in the life that others may be searching for. She bases a lot of her self worth on her ability to dream up her own abstract thoughts, without being hindered; if she does not have this freedom for innovation she can become a bit dejected, her life becoming slow and boring without prospect for revival. She is capable of relaxing sometimes, and can switch easily between her energetic, motivated idealist to an imaginative, dreaming cat wandering out without watching where she's stepping. This can happen in a heartbeat at sometimes the most inopportune moments, although she does have some control over it and prefers to stick to what she knows would be proper for any given situation. Being in the middle of things allows Heatherpaw the freedom of connecting emotionally with others so that she can get insight (that she will forever cherish) about those she surrounds herself with. She wants everyone to recognise and express emotions, feeling them to their fullest extent; her empathy and sociability make others feel natural around her, giving them comfort and ease to be who they are. However, Heatherpaw tries not to rely on her intuition because she knows that she is very capable of misreading things, and she ends up stuck on one end of two extremes: either she will be talkative and bubbly, or she will close herself off and shut down because she doesn't know what to think. Her social relationships tend to come first, and she explores them, their feelings and ideas, to discover what rings true for her in order to find her place in the world to let her imaginative, empathetic self roam freely. Heatherpaw is very curious and doesn't like to linger on things; she wants to pursue new things constantly, finding new experiences in any way she can. She has a very open mind and loves the puzzle that she considers life to be. Observant, she also believes that actions are always fueled by some sort of purpose, even if it is not conscious; to help satisfy her curiosity she will also strive to notice each action that she can, trying not to miss a single moment of life. Her life is filled with energy and enthusiasm and she loves to share her findings about the world and life itself, and her social energy makes it easy for her to make new connections and friends. She is very strong at communication and has very good social skills, and she can vary from smalltalk to deep conversations with ease. Heatherpaw could be considered popular, and this is largely due to how friendly she is. Unfortunately, her practical skills aren't that great; though her imagination runs wild, she does not do well with administration and upkeep. She also finds it difficult to focus on things she does not have a particular strong passion for, and will jump from activity to activity without completing them. She can overthink things and get stressed out easily if she does not give herself some time and space to unwind and let herself think things through and gather herself together again, and tends to be quite emotional. However, she is independent, but almost to a fault -- she hates having others observe her and she wants to be entirely in control of her own life. Traits Positive: - Ambitious. - Very flirtatious. - Wants a family. - Nurturing and motherly. - Talkative. - Easy to get along with. - Doesn't hold grudges. - Emotionally strong. - Outgoing. - Generally happy. Negative: - Excessively flirtatious. - Doesn't understand love. - Daddy issues. - Not very attentive. - More interested in friends than learning. - Can be annoying. - Hungry for attention. - Not the best at remembering things. - Not political despite desire to lead. - Poor immune system. Fears: - Thunderstorms. - Getting eaten by something. - Death. - Claustrophobic. - Predators of any kind. - Other Clans. - Authority figures. - Rejection. - Losing anything. - Being disliked. Family and Relationships Paternal Grandfather: Adderfur, a ginger and white tom; warrior of WindClan. 'Paternal Grandmother: '''Honeyleaf, a ginger and white she-cat; warrior of WindClan, died in battle. '''Father: 'Lichenstorm, a ginger and white tom; warrior of WindClan. Played by Fallow. 'Paternal Uncle: '''Brackenclaw, a ginger and white tom; warrior of WindClan. '''Maternal Grandfather: '''Waspheart, a ginger and white tom; elder of WindClan, died of greencough. '''Maternal Grandmother: '''Cloverstep, a ginger and white she-cat; elder of WindClan, died of greencough. '''Mother: '''Marigoldtail, a ginger and white she-cat; warrior of WindClan, died of juvenile kidney syndrome. '''Sister: 'Tawnypaw, a ginger and white she-cat; apprentice of WindClan. Played by Ender. 'Sister: 'Applepaw, a ginger and white she-cat; apprentice of WindClan. Played by Rowan. 'Sister: 'Dawnpaw, a ginger and white she-cat; apprentice of WindClan. Played by Witch. 'Mentor: 'Poppybird, a tortoiseshell she-cat; warrior of WindClan. Played by Zebra. 'Future Mate: 'Harenose, a brown tabby tom; warrior of WindClan. Played by Bran. History Marigoldtail was a beautiful orange she-cat born to Waspheart and Cloverstep, an inseparable and somewhat senior couple who doted upon her endlessly. At first, she was accepting of their affections, before growing sick of it and entering the stereotypical "teenager stage" that she never really grew out of. Becoming rebellious and very strong willed as an apprentice, she spent less and less time with them until their relationship became essentially nonexistent. She grew into a strong, proud warrior, fighting for the Clan with tooth and claw. When she was about forty moons and her parents in their nineties, they retired to the elder's den and before long Cloverstep fell ill with greencough. Even in her sickness, Waspheart refused to leave her side, and ended up catching it himself due to this; only a short while later, their immune systems weakened with their age, they passed away. Marigoldtail was relatively unaffected, mourning for a short period before moving on. When she was forty seven moons, she met a young tom named Lichenpaw. He was flirtatious, didn't think of the consequences of his actions because he felt that there weren't any, and similarly to her had no plans of starting a family. Because of this, they started to fool around, and when he was ten moons he managed to accidentally get her pregnant. Obviously, this was going to be an issue. An apprentice and a now forty nine year old warrior? The idea was almost repulsive. But she did not mind the idea of kits now that they were thrown at her, and felt confident in her ability to take care of herself. Dismissing Lichenpaw, telling him to focus on his training and not worry about them, she promised that she would ensure nobody knew that they were his. Shortly after, she gave birth to four she-cats; Tawnykit, Applekit, Dawnkit, and Heatherkit. Now understanding the love that her parents had for her, Marigoldtail regretted the distance that she had displayed towards them in their later moons and decided to remedy it by treating her kits the same way she'd been treated by her parents. She almost smothered them, and the five were very close. Tawnykit, the oldest, was brave and confident, with her youngest sister Heatherkit trying to follow in her pawsteps. Applekit, though somewhat more reserved, gossiped constantly because she paid attention to her Clanmates. Dawnkit was a flirt, and got a lot of attention, which made Heatherkit jealous and prone to acting like her as well. But all in all, their kithood was relatively uneventful, and though they wondered who their father was nobody thought to ask. Around the time that the kits were four moons old, their mother started acting differently; it would only be a very short period before the medicine cat realised she had juvenile kidney syndrome, and was not going to make it much longer. The kits were devastated, naturally; the five of them had been almost like their own little cult and they were about to lose their leader. The morning of the day that she died, Marigoldtail called Lichenpaw -- now Lichenstorm -- into the medicine cat's den. He knew that he no longer had a choice and was going to have to father the kits, as Marigoldtail had gone back on her promise and told the other queens all about it and they refused to care for the kits if their father wasn't around. After he accepted this, the four were called into the den, and told very little of the backstory but enough of it to let them know he was their father. Lichenstorm, though hesitant and clueless, realised he was going to have to change and get his life together in order to properly care for his kits. However, he had no clue what he was doing, and occasionally focused on one or two kits more than their sisters, which caused some conflicts. The four, though still banded together as the best of friends like they always had, began to compete for his attention. As they became apprentices, these rivalries subsided to some degree when none of them were apprenticed to him (which made sense, given that he was young and not ready for an apprentice). Instead, they started to focus on their training. Heatherpaw, through everything, had no idea who she was or where she belonged and entered a part of her life that was conflicted between spiting her father for not being around and also being ecstatic to have him in her life. But since her mother's death, she's realised that she doesn't know who she is, and actively tries to fit in with anyone she can in order to figure that out. __FORCETOC__ Category:WindClan